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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095730">Killing Me Softly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/illonimo/pseuds/illonimo'>illonimo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, Lots Of Sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:47:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095730</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/illonimo/pseuds/illonimo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You were him and he was yours but for how long?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren &amp; You, Kylo Ren/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Killing Me Softly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>      You lay in the hospital bed, his arms carefully placed around you with your eyes fluttering, threatening to close. You willed them to stay open, you willed yourself to look into his eyes one more time. How badly you wanted to sleep, you wanted to rest.</p>
<p>      “You cannot leave me.” His voice was distorted from the helmet and you reached up weakly, aiming to hit the latch. You needed to see him outside of this helmet, this thing that had caused so much hurt, so much death.</p>
<p>      “I want to see you.” Your bloodied fingers printed themselves on the silver lines that interrupted the menacing black structure. “Please.” He nodded lightly, his hands leaving you briefly to unlatch the helmet. When his face appeared from behind the helmet, you smiled weakly. “There you are.”</p>
<p>      He hadn’t wanted to take the helmet off, it stopped you from seeing how weak he was. How scared he was to see you fading away while he could do nothing. The machines around you beeped silently, doing what they could to support your failing body. But they weren’t enough, they never would be. He would lose you.</p>
<p>      “You are not weak.” You spoke and his eyes flickered to your own. “Fear does not make you weak, it makes you stronger because you must face it.”</p>
<p>      “I cannot do this alone. Not without you.” His voice was low, broken. It hurt you to see him in such a state. Perhaps it was selfish to wish you didn’t have to see his suffering, to wish you’d never have to see his face fresh with tears and eyes filled with agony.</p>
<p>      “You will never be alone, I will always be with you, my love.” You cupped his cheek with your hand, your vision blurring through tears. How you would have loved to serve by his side, how you two had fantasized about it. Upon seeing your tears his seemed to multiply as a sob retched through his body and then another as he buried his head in your chest. Shushing him, you ran your hand through his hair, tears rolling down your neck as you looked at the ceiling.</p>
<p>      Time heals all wounds, but you knew this wasn’t just physical, this was a wound that would be engraved in the Force. Being Force Bonded was never a bad thing, until now, until you had to say goodbye.</p>
<p>      “My love,” You spoke up, his head moving so he could look at you. “I want you to think your happiest thought.” The pain sketched across his face and you offered him a weak smile. It was time and he knew it. But you would not have his last memory of you here in this hospital. Bringing both of his hands to cup your face he pressed his forehead into yours, both of you shutting your eyes.</p>
<hr/>
<p>      He hadn’t expected to find someone like him, someone torn between the Light and the Dark. And he certainly hadn’t expected to find you in the Knights of Ren. Your struggle seemed to be less prevalent than his but he had seen it, just as you had seen his. Even as he watched you from across the room, his back resting against the headboard of his bed, sheets pooled around his waist, he found himself enamored. Caught up in how you moved, how you held yourself.</p>
<p>      “You are staring.” You commented, not looking up from the mirror as you adjusted your uniform. You could practically feel his eyes traveling when his hands had been just moments before, your somewhat tight uniform making him smile lightly. “You do know you are projecting all of your thoughts, all of them.”</p>
<p>      “I was hoping it’d convince you to come back to bed.” He chuckled lightly and you turned as you secured the last clasp of your uniform. Making your way to his bedside you swept a hand through his hair, his head leaning into your hand.</p>
<p>      “And I’m sure if I wasn’t already in uniform and on my way out, it’d work.” You leaned down catching his lips, humming when he grabbed your elbow trying to pull you closer. Pulling back you laughed, tutting at him. “I will see you soon.” As you pulled away he caught your hand, pulling it to kiss the back of it.</p>
<p>      “Not soon enough.” As you walked towards the door he kept hold of your hand until it fell from his grasp.</p>
<p>      “<strong><em>Flatterer</em></strong>.” You spoke through you two’s Force Bond as the doors shut behind you causing him to chuckle.</p>
<hr/>
<p>      He could feel your power ebbing away as the memory faded. Opening his eyes he found you limp, too still in his arms.</p>
<p>      “Y/N?” He knew, he knew you weren’t there anymore but he could help the broken whisper of your name that left his lips. His vision blurred as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, letting you lay back down on the hospital bed. He was moved from your side as nurses and medical droids surrounded you, focusing on saving your life. But it was useless.</p>
<p>      He walked from the hospital room, the agony swirling around in him, an empty wound in the Force around him throbbing. As he walked down corridors leading to his quarters’ everyone seemed to avoid his gaze, their interests being on the floor.</p>
<p>      As the doors shut behind him he paused, anger swelling up under the agony as his helmet was flung across the room. A cry of anguish left his lips as he threw a side table in the same direction of his helmet. After several more objects were thrown he found himself on his knees on the floor, tears welling in his eyes.</p>
<p>      You were gone, and he was alone.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>      “You are never alone.”</em>
  </strong>
</p>
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